So I'm having a bad day, I want to start being mindful, but my mind is full of the reasons I'm having a bad day, and focusing on negativity is wrong, right?
I try to change my mindset to a positive one, begin listing things to be grateful for, and I do find a few whilst cycling back to the current 'aarrgghh' of my reality.
As you can tell, mindfulness and I were not comfortable companions for a long time. If we went for a walk together and I tried to focus on the birds, trees, squirrels, sunbeams, mindfulness would desert me and I'd find myself back on the treadmill of what was wrong with my life. My mindfulness was seriously misdirected until I discovered...
Presence
To be present in my mind worked for me. I realised that it wasn't so much about gratitude, or keeping my mind in a good place, it was more about being aware of what was going on in my mind: mindful of my thoughts.
Once I discovered this I started to slow down my reactions to life. Because I wasn't suddenly trying one thing, didn't work, trying another. I was becoming aware of why something wasn't working, and seeing how I could perhaps amend and not sling every idea in a metaphorical bin the instant it didn't work, and give up.
Because I was listening to what people were saying to me and not fashioning my reply, I became more aware of what they were saying to me, and that created far better reactions. I could hear that I was being insulted, challenged, questioned, even supported, and I seemed to have a great deal more time to work out what that meant to me and how I wanted to react.
This of course leads us to...
Feelings
I became aware of how I really felt about my life and the people in it. What I really didn't want to do even though I was pretending that I did, whilst knowing all the time that I'd hate it but I'd say yes anyway. I stopped saying yes anyway, and had time to work out a polite but firm 'I'd rather eat fried toenails than help you move house', delivered without challenge or angst. It even gave me time to follow-up with 'but I will turn up at the new house with a takeaway and some drinks if you give me a call and tell me what time'.
That was only one small benefit though. Discovering what I honestly felt about life became a good guide for what I did and didn't want to do, try, work at, experience, and feel. I was more able to control my feelings by being mindful of what any given situation was doing to my equilibrium, and taking immediate action, rather than walk away muttering "I should have said that... and that... and ooh that would have been a good put down!"
As a result of presence and feelings, I realised that out of all the things I can do, writing is what I want to do. I'd lost that feeling so many years ago among trying new things, discovering a few unexpected abilities and learning about them, and generally getting side tracked by opportunities I didn't want, but didn't realise I didn't want.
My writing leads perfectly into my public speaking, and both lead neatly into the spiritual mentoring I offer. A sort of coaching with a twist of simplicity and a dose of authenticity, tied together with 'It's okay to be you, it's who you came here to be. Now let's make it more fun and empowering!' Plus a few bolt on goodies.
I was doing all those things and more, but didn't realise that they had to be writing-led... because that's how I connect with myself, I explore myself and my world through writing it down.
So How Do You Feel?
For those of you who may not have tried mindfulness, it's important to remember that your heart does the feeling and it sends that feeling to your head for translation. So your mindfulness will be more effective if you are aware not just of your feelings - which may be random in the extreme - but your...
Authenticity
We get all kinds of random feelings rocketing around our body and invading our minds, but once you realise that you're not particularly clear on what you're feeling, it's important to drill down to the truth. To pick apart those random emotional reactions until you find the truth underneath.
A mind full of angst and anxious thoughts can often be redirected by emotional simplicity: I do want to; I don't want to; I might want to but I need to know more; if I don't try this my life could be ruined. All clear messages.
To authentically know who you are and what you want equals a great deal of personal power to direct your life in the right ways, and achieve the end results you may not even know you want. I was trying to write a book whilst authentically wanting to be a poet again, and doing neither. Now I'm writing poetry the books are coming along swimmingly, and with a lot more emotion. Poetry is a wonderful tool for identifying and fleshing out feelings, as well as adding a few super-cool idea that you only get through writing from your tru feelings. So much more powerful than words tossed on a page by logic.
Is Your Mind Full?
So empty it. Instead of focusing on your thoughts, focus on what's bugging you, imagine that your mind drops from your head down through your throat and chest, into your heart, then say to the two of them "why don't you chat and let me know the outcome, nice and clearly please" then relax.
As you practice getting in touch with your authentic truth, that will direct where you put your mindfulness. Quite frankly there's very little point in determinedly focusing on a butterfly because 'it's a good thing' whilst your mind would be better employed noting what's going on around you, and your heart would be better employed telling your mind how you feel about it, so that you can either go with whatever it is with joy, or run a mile in the other direction, quite happily yelling "thanks but not for me".
From Small Acorns
Giant Oak trees can grow. Trees of dreams. Trees of experiences. Career trees. Romance Trees. The trees of your future.
The kind of mindfulness that empties the mind completely is best done as a meditative practice, where you deliberately take time to release your emotions, and see where your thoughts float whilst taking very little notice unless they spit out something amazing. Always take notice of amazing.
So... really we have three parts here:
- You will struggle to be mindful about your life if you're not paying attention to it.
- You need to be mindful of what you're feeling not just what you're thinking.
- Once you've nailed emptying the mind and allowing the universe to send you all your dreams so that you can realise the ones you like best,the next step will be easier.
You will also enjoy a mind full of fantastic thoughts and plans, dreaming only of a great future, and not focusing on irritations at all.
The wrong job will be gone, the wrong friendships will be gently dealt with, the wrong relationships will be healed or changed, and so on.
It's amazing the difference between knowing who you are and what you want, and trying to be all mindful when you don't.
Have fun; it's supposed to bring you joy not a headache because you can't concentrate on the mindful whilst you're hating your life and aren't paying full attention to why.
Article Source: https://EzineArticles.com/expert/Deb_Hawken/888215